Friday, November 11, 2005

Dad

I've been posting about his PSP (progressive supranuclear palsy) on another forum. Here's the latest because I'm damned tired of typing so much.

Thank you again, everyone! I certainly appreciate all of your insight, information and empathy.

Michael, we live in Texas, not Arizona, unfortunately. It was my dad's brother's suggestion that he go to Mayo as we were getting absolutely nowhere with the neurologists, et al, here in Houston (which surprised me!!).

I don't know - more thinking aloud here, but I suppose the fact that I have worked in the medical field for the past 15 years or so is the reason I want things decided upon, planned for, and taken care of right NOW. I tend to be more automated at first (in a crisis) and then emotional later, but I am finding my family is processing things a bit different than me. And, not to say either is right or wrong, necessarily, but it still frustrates me to no end.

I don't want to "pussy-foot" around with this. I want to tackle it head on and, most importantly, be strong for my dad. I think he would do worse if he felt as though everyone around him was falling apart and/or ignoring his needs. THAT bothers me, a lot.

I WANT him to feel safe, secure, loved, and everything else under the sun. He is HURTING physically, emotionally, mentally, and every which way. I suppose it's kind of a role reversal thing in that I feel like he is my child - I won't stop until I feel he has a little bit of peace. I don't know how to express this feeling exactly, but I think y'all know what I mean.

I'm waffling back and forth about sending excerpts of this thread to my mom.

I can't shove this down their throats, but jeeze, I sure want to sometimes. It's like, "WAKE UP and smell the coffee, will ya??"

In addition, my mother's father had true Parkinson's - the tremors and everything ABSENT from PSP. Her mother died from Alzheimer's. So, it's not as if any of this is "new."

Gah, I'm rambling and venting. Sorry.

I just feel like I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. I can't pay for a home aide out of my own pocket. I can refer them to someone for the railings, but again can't pay for it. I can beg them to let my SIL use the truck to come stay with him, but they may not agree. I can beg my mom to retire right now, but she may not.

And there he sits, in his recliner - all day, alone.

This sucks.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Kindness and Weakness

My husband has a saying, which I love by the way, "Don't mistake my kindness for weakness."

So, we have the new neighbors and are SO VERY HAPPY about that. They were really, really struggling at first with the moving costs, initial deposits and payments, etc. So, we were KIND enough to let them tap off our cable TV.

That was months ago. Mr. Neighbor bought a 500.00 3-wheeler last weekend. That and he nevah returns our axe or other borrowed items.

Back to today, Mr. Cable Man (and boy-howdy was he HOT as HELL!!!) came a-knockin'.

"I'm here to turn on your cable," he says, "I also brought the digital cable box you requested."

Me (panting and sweating): "I already have cable. I cancelled the digital a while back because we don't watch that many channels. Are you sure you have the right house?"

Mr. Hot Cable Man: "Says here 123 Smith Lane in the name of Jones."

Me (Oh my GOD he is sexy): "That's us, but we didn't order anything, but channel 11 has problems from time to time." (STUPID, STUPID, STUPID thing for me to say).

Mr. Hot Cable Man: "Let me check your connections and take a look around."

BUT, now I'm in freak-out mode. SHIT, will he FIND the illegalness I have been providing??? MUST SMOKE CIG.

He takes me outside and we follow the line (thank GOD the neighbors buried the line to their house from the splitter), and he realizes that I have it from the pole and hanging from tree to tree down into the ground - reason being, the dumbass who installed it in the first place left massive amounts of extra line and didn't bother to bury it.

Mr. Hot Cable Man said he had to redo the line. FUCK! I am freaking out more and more!!!

Turns out, he didn't realize/see/acknowledge the splitter to the neighbors' house, re-ran the line, and called in for a crew to come in to bury said line.

I promptly called the neighbor chick, whom I love dearly, and explained the situation. NO MORE CABLE for you people, but it turned out in a "nice" sort of way, i.e. not our fault, as Mr. B was getting pissed about his axe, the cable TV and, most importantly, mistaking our kindness for weakness.

Monday, October 31, 2005

On Driving

Just as an aside, I know that EVERYONE thinks they drive better than everyone else - including myself.

That being said, it seems as if people just don't understand the rules of the road or simply don't care.

As I was driving home from my parents' house yesterday, an ambulance was lit up, sirens on, and hauling ass. This was on a 2-way highway of sorts. Now, anyone worth his/her salt KNOWS to pull the fuck over to the right side of the road regardless of traffic conditions or any other mutherfuckin excuse he or she can come up with.

Of course I did this, and the person behind me flew past me right as the ambulance was coming down the opposite lane. I flipped him off. WTF? WHERE is your pretentious ass going that is more important than an ambulance? HUH? Tell me that.

I say this because my husband's father quit breathing in the middle of the night. They called 911 and it took them a good 15 minutes to get there while my brother-in-law performed CPR while my mother-in-law and sister-in-law watched, terrified.

Did some dumbass mutherfucker not pull over for his ambulance? I guess we will never know.

He died en route and wasn't able to be rescusitated successfully.

My husband hadn't seen his dad in 8 months as he was in the military. He never got to say "goodbye" or "I love you."

So, you asshole drivers out there - pull over for a fucking ambulance or fire truck, okay? You never know who they might be trying to save.

Happy Birthday Halloweenie Mommie!!




I LOVE YOU!!

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Told ya, Part II

The fucking Astros lost the World Series - when?

ON MY GOT-DAMN BIRTHDAY.

But, I got a really nice suprise party from my dearest hubbie and lotsa presents with a new camera phone to boot. Oh, and big shrimp skewered with fresh pineapple cooked on the barby.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Told ya

My friend lost her baby at 4-1/2 to 5 months today. Fuckity, fuck. I AM cursed.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Hiatus and my birthday

Howdy all! No, I am not dead or anything serious like that - just needed a little break for a bit for my family. Suffice it to say we drank waayyy too much and played hide-n-seek like a bunch of old farts. I will say it was a blast and one that is already being requested for the Halloween partay.

Okay, but here's the serious shit. My birthday, see, it is very bad luck. People end up in jail or prison on my birthday, amongst other things.

I can't explain it. Is it because the doctor lied on my birth certificate and stated I was born on October 26th at 12:01 as opposed to October 25th at 11:59? Saved my parents 50 bucks, but perhaps stained this day for all of my life (and those around me). Or, is it because my mother's birthday is on Halloween? Combination of both? In any event, anyone who knows me understands it is VERY IMPORTANT to stay at home on my birthday(s) day.

Let's make a list, shall we? I am going to cut out all of the details because it's just too much shit to type after a long day of typing (my job - that's all I do monkey at a keyboard).

1. Husband in jail with me 8-1/2 months pregnant on my birthday.
2. Husband and best friend in jail on my birthday.
3. Myself in jail on my birthday.
4. My best friend AGAIN in jail on my birthday.
5. My brother-in-law 3 times in jail/prison on my birthday.

Now, one could surmise that I hang around a rowdy bunch and it is all "coincidental" and shit, but check this out - as of this very day, October 25, 2005:

1. Dad is at the Mayo Clinic in Arizona on my birthday finding out his fate - ALS, Parkinson's? Alzheimer's???
3. Nephew is in court on my birthday finding out his fate - Jail time? Probation? Prison?

So there, I'm cursed. I dread my birthday and quite frankly, I quit counting after 33...who cares about age after that anymore, right? Not moi.

Lesson: STAY THE FUCK AT HOME ON MY BIRTHDAY.

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Still feelin' Minnesota - kinda

Sorry guys, I have been having a really, really, REALLY hard time with work this past week. Then, my neighbor comes at 7:00 a.m. Tuesday morning needing a ride to work (which is a good hour and a half round trip) when I am having a really, really hard time with work.

Spice that up (BAM!) with my brother going into the hospital with another hernia and my sister coming to visit whom I haven't seen in at least 3 years. House and yard look like shit, so I have been mowing, raking, burning, and cleaning amongst a really, really hard time with my job.

Hell, I may be unemployed after today - in which case, I have a really good idea for a business and perhaps I should just do it anyway.

I'm sure my sister will guest blog for me a couple of days. She's a hoot! And by that I mean a strange, funny, off-the-wall, artiste damsel. Maybe we will make it to the Ren Fest while she is here. That'd be fun, but it is way too expensive for the experience, if you ask me.

Pay up for the boobie-fest. It's worth it. I have the password to the "good stuff," and you won't be disappointed. Trust me. Hell, I'm featured there, so it can't be all THAT bad....

Friday, September 30, 2005

Boobiethon




Please donate. I have a personal story about breast cancer I will share later. Also, if you donate the 50 bucks, you will see me in all of my glory!!!!!

Pete's Pond

Very cool cam in Africa. It's kind of addicting, actually... Click on thee Lighthouse to see for thyself. I'm in a funky-fun mood today.

Ooops, I forgot to add. One must have RealPlayer to view and hear. I think you can get it for free somewhere out there.